Being a single Christian woman is a confusing niche to be in these days.
You need to remain sanctified. Yet, you also need to make yourself somewhat available. You need to be “ready” — whatever that means these days. You need to fend for yourself financially, emotionally… All the while be prepared to submit yourself to the future spiritual head of your household. You need to be independent… to one day also become dependent… In your teenage years, if you grew up in the church, there’s sometimes the “no boys” policy, enforced by your youth pastor or your parents. Then, all of a sudden, there’s a “not ready for boys” stage, because, girl, you have to get that career on track … And before you know it… there’s a “where’s your man” expectation, screaming at you from the world, the church, and, for some, even your family…
To you, I say this:
You have the right be joyful — right where you are.
Going at the pace of society and doing it like others do never guaranteed a fruitful life for women in the Bible. Deborah was a female judge, in a time when, most likely, there was no other female judge. Esther was not prepared to be queen and most likely had no one to reference or compare herself to at the time. And speaking of queens, Sarah was the queen of the waiting game and had a child way beyond the appropriate time to begin motherhood.
All of these women left a legacy for centuries of women to come. Yet, they fit into no mold.
They did not do things according to the standardized timeline.
They just obeyed the voice of God, which sometimes leads them against the grain of cultural expectations.
Woman of God, as long as you have the voice of the Holy Spirit resounding in your heart, you have all that you need to be fruitful and joyful. Women that cannot discover this revelation in their singlehood, find themselves lost once entering marriage and motherhood.
It’s not a husband that defines you, nor your children. It is the Lord.
It is His Presence that determines your spiritual DNA and your destiny. And, you have that. You do not lack a thing.
Therefore, in this precious stage in your life, enjoy the freedom to live for Christ extravagantly, freely, and without any division of attention. Because no one will stop you or hinder you from doing these things… for now.
Proverbs 31:25 says of the wife of noble character, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”
You do not magically become these things once you walk down that aisle. It must be something a woman already is before she becomes married, attributes she has already acquired before she had a husband and children. So, there’s your homework, ladies. God is already preparing you for these things as we speak.
Look at your trials as opportunities to build strength, your insecurities as the battlefield for dignity, and your fears as an invitation to laugh at the days to come.
Fight for that today, so that you can be that in the future.
It’s not time to be pressured. It is not even a time of waiting. You are preparing, and you are living.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”
— Proverbs 31:215